The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
