Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize