there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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