so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize