Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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