I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have post one night stand depression
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