You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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