All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
