my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
