thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
