FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
