Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
