My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
