My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
