Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
