I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
