I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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