I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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