I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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