dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
