Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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