Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
