woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
