Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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