The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
