i don't like sucking hair
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
