walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
