before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
