I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
