grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
