I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
