i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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