We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
