what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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