i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
