yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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