can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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