Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
