Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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