If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
