people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize