I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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