So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
