he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
