help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
