So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
