you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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