i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
