It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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