have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
