It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
