She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize