i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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