You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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