Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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