I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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