yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
