And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize