I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
